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I have no joy, I have no gladness.
The earth does not fill me.
Once a brave soul and pure heart,
Now raw scars,
From desperation of sorrows.
Memoirs of bright yesterdays
and haunting, tomorrows.


Seemingly so far gone, but yet so close.
Realities, the bad neighborhood conquers,
A clueless mind,
Are all that now remains,
Of pulsing hearts in frozen chests.
Of a mind that now lies slain.


Of a death imprisoned soul.
Sadness still clouds my face,
Lobes twinge,
Muscles flinch.
At the drop of a pin


Fear of letting go,
The lost song of the breeze
Of sorrows suffered in the world,
Many untold sorrows.
Forget that day, I try
But memories wont let me!

You Just Dont Get It! Do You?

For a better part of the past three years, you have absolutely failed albeit deliberately, to read between the lines. I wish there was a milder way to say this but we are just friends. Thats all we've ever been even though you insist that man and woman can never be just friends.
All those small things you keep dwelling on like when we've held hands for long spells, the weekend walks and the mandatory hugs, are just innocent gestures of our friendship. And that time you jumped me at Diane's farewell party, well it was you who was zonked not me. That should explain why you left with only one shoe!
You even promised that it would never happen again. Ever!

But of late you are back to your old self. Now you pretend to have seriously fallen in love with Chelsea. In your defence, you claim that Arsenal's games have become very boring to watch! I'm puzzled beyond measure by your resolve.

Still you haven't stopped at that.
You know how much I'm a lil' obsessed with Keri Hilson, dont you? Why else have you done the same hairstyle? I cant say I didn't stumble a bit when I saw you...actually I now happen to be just a little bit tempted to drift.
But no I wont. I refuse to be boxed into a corner.
Who said a man doesn't have a choice when it comes to choosing what he eats?

I appreciate the gifts, the free lunch, the airtime and that beautiful blue Marks & Spencer neck tie, I loved them all. But right now I'm running as far away from you as I can. You wont hear from me for the next four months for reasons you have tactfully ignored for the past three years.

Till we cross paths again I remain me.

PS: Assuming we are still friends, can I keep the topless pics? I've never complained about them.

It's So Hungry I Can Barely Feed It

Considering that I’ve not posted anything right here for exactly 45 days, I’ve gotta admit that is really long a time. I’ve got my reasons too. See I’m not exactly comfortable looking into a neighbour’s script when sitting an exam, so I took time off, shook blogging out of my unwilling head and got down to the academics for ‘shizzle’. Nevertheless after seeing this lady pull her ‘bullet’ from her bra, of all places, I took a peek or two to steer clear of a retake when I was out-spotted. Such can be the life of a student.

So that means I missed the BHH tales (of course I wasn’t there), and I hear Eizzy. k got saved! I’m only hoping she don’t try to convert me.

But then, my time away from blogging pales in comparison with my rather lengthy vacation away from the throes of dating. It has been more than a year now and what gets me worried though is how comfortable I’m becoming in the current climate. Its not till you make out with some girl (swollen with emotion too) you least expected to ever get cozy with that you realise maybe you have been cheating your body by depriving it of some things I cannot comfortably call essentials. You almost went to the next level with her! You find it even harder to say no to her advances politely. I don’t even know what they are! Cravings?

The next morning you are predictably like – “OMG What the fuck was I thinking?” but then it is already done and all you have left time for is to reflect on where in the not so immediate past might have gone wrong. You try hard to put on a gaze that conveys innocence, responsibility and authority that often than not, conceals the desperate bore that your life has become. You feel like letting loose, surrendering yourself to the force of the wind, and put up no resistance at all.

But your inner self knows that the life you once lived with some ease is now more like the unknown to you at present and that isn’t about to miraculously change overnight.

It’s really been mighty long.

“Never let your head bully your heart only because it is not worth the effort. The heart somewhat always manages to win” Dad told me that before he got saved!

21 Questions

• Do I really look like Pharell Williams or was it pure flattery from her?
• Why is it easy to fall for and feel connected to someone you have never seen and probably will never see?
• Why do you find it hard to tell that person and opt to keep playing the friendship card even when you really know that is not the case?
• Why do friends these days think they have the moral authority to make choices for you no matter how personal they may be to you?
• Am I the only one who thinks Ugandan women have become too predictable?
• Who like me doesn’t want to live to the age beyond which I cannot find my own way to the bathroom for relief anymore?
• Now that I’ve stopped growing taller, why am I not growing any fatter?
• Who still dresses in SAVCO jeans?
• Where have all the good kissers gone?
• When should I start complaining of the loud noises that my neighbours sentence me too deep into the night?
• Does everyone else have to endure mood swings from time to time like I do?
• Where have the rest of the 21 Questions gone?

The One I Never Got To Bid Farewell To

I’m Ugandan. I proudly say so. And I love almost everything that is Ugandan. I really do. But one thing ranks high among the things Ugandan that I’ve grown to dislike and fear at the same time and it’s non other than the roads and the beastly machines that utilise them unsparingly. Hate, because of the clumsiness of the drivers and the poor state of these roads and fear, for how ruthlessly the accidents seek to out do malaria as the chief executioner in this lovable country.

During my senior year, I lost my decker-mate Harold (R.I.P.) in one of those multiple carnages on the damned Masaka Highway. With less than a year left for him to end high school a bright light was rudely put out. I was inconsolable back then. It was like I had lost an arm or two. I still don’t think life has ever been the same without him. It is even more traumatising for me because by the time we parted company, Harold and I had just had a rather bitter argument while playing soccer. He was the goalie and I was the defender, we conceded a rather stupid goal which brought the blame game into play. I like to blame it on the passion we both had for our team. They always happen all over the world. I know.

But we didn’t kiss and make up after. A sad way to end such a friendship!

I also had my own close brush early this year when this stubborn driver of our taxi decided to compete with a fuel truck…….I get cold chills when I tell this story but so you must know, nothing eventually happened. But the old lady sited next to me wasn’t taking anything lightly and in so doing took a dim view of everything when she decided to rain blows and age old insults on the crazed driver. I haven’t even talked about what the extremely frightened passengers donated to the sponge they were seated on.

Now here I am looking at the photos of the game we played in Harold’s memory just over three years ago to this date wishing he would have been around to witness the Queen’s visit. He badly wanted to witness that day. As a piece of considerably consolation, I scored in that game and pointed to the sky, optimistic that Harold was sited up there…and that I was still in his good books.

I miss you Harold.

P.S. I have decided to run a separate blog for my escapedes in a Ugandan lecture room...check it out.

She Is Going To Skin Me

So, a ‘good’ friend of mine classifies herself a Certified Loner. I’m not even sure I should call her a good friend, owing to the fact that I last saw her ten....yes ten years ago, but I’d rather call her that. She has done nothing not to deserve it-it’s not like she has pulled a gun on me or worse made off with my muffin. But being a loner gets me thinking rather worryingly whether she is happy. But again what is happinesas any way? I’ve got no real answer but just what I think happiness should be all about.

It’s not about job success or raising perfect kids or a great marriage. It’s about how you live each moment. My neighbour Pamela, a young mother struggling to pay her bills and raises a child on a receptionist's salary, woke up one morning in a state of near despair. She and her husband had split up-again-and she was dead broke. The sky was overcast. Figuring things looked so bad she got out the vacuum and was dispiritedly working her way back and forth across the living room rug when she looked up. There right beside her with his toy vacuum, was her 18 month old son. He beamed at her, and Pamela realized that despite everything, in that moment she was perfectly content. At least that’s what she told me.

Most of us are like her. We conclude that if we aren’t happy all the time, then we aren’t happy. Yet its ludicrous to expect to be happy 24 hours a day. Happiness as I’ve come to see comes in bits and pieces, and what we must learn to do is savour the small events in our lives-like the baby working a vacuum across the room. Oddly it may come your way in the form of a bird several meters airborne, relieving itself on your precious top!

I understand Buddhists call this approach living mindfully or living with mindful awareness. I kind of agree, but there is no chance that I’m about to change my affiliation. Others describe it as living in the present, or growing where you’re planted. Whatever the phrase, the concept is the same: Its when you are consciously and completely experiencing where you are, what you are doing and how you are feeling. It’s when you aren’t thinking about anything but the experience you’re having.

At such moments, when the present is so full of richness and wonder that nothing else matters, when you are feeling connected to nature and to other people, you are happy. If there is one secret to happiness it is paying attention to these moments and creating opportunities for more of them in your life. I don’t even know if I’m even making any sense but I guess I’m happy! Is she?