For a better part of the past three years, you have absolutely failed albeit deliberately, to read between the lines. I wish there was a milder way to say this but we are just friends. Thats all we've ever been even though you insist that man and woman can never be just friends.
All those small things you keep dwelling on like when we've held hands for long spells, the weekend walks and the mandatory hugs, are just innocent gestures of our friendship. And that time you jumped me at Diane's farewell party, well it was you who was zonked not me. That should explain why you left with only one shoe!
You even promised that it would never happen again. Ever!
But of late you are back to your old self. Now you pretend to have seriously fallen in love with Chelsea. In your defence, you claim that Arsenal's games have become very boring to watch! I'm puzzled beyond measure by your resolve.
Still you haven't stopped at that.
You know how much I'm a lil' obsessed with Keri Hilson, dont you? Why else have you done the same hairstyle? I cant say I didn't stumble a bit when I saw you...actually I now happen to be just a little bit tempted to drift.
But no I wont. I refuse to be boxed into a corner.
Who said a man doesn't have a choice when it comes to choosing what he eats?
I appreciate the gifts, the free lunch, the airtime and that beautiful blue Marks & Spencer neck tie, I loved them all. But right now I'm running as far away from you as I can. You wont hear from me for the next four months for reasons you have tactfully ignored for the past three years.
Till we cross paths again I remain me.
PS: Assuming we are still friends, can I keep the topless pics? I've never complained about them.
